Life
Part I
Let You Go
Hello friend. It’s been so long. I long
for your embrace. Hug me. Gently at first.
Then squeeze. Because I don’t want to
let you go. Not again.
You held my hand, the movie screen
light cast on your face. The side
of it I see. The smile of victory.
One more time. Linger,
because this is the last time
before I have to let you go.
Hands unclasped. Goodbye.
First Peace
Sway. Tall grass in a field. Stretching farther
than the eye can see. Ocean waves crest
and crash. Push and pull. Sandy beaches.
Darkness falls. Blurring the line between horizon & sky.
Do you have the courage to jump into the
ocean after dark?
Yes, I do.
Lies
I’m a poet. No. I tell lies. Lie with me
on the side of this grassy hill and let me
bring deeper understanding.
Two lovers. They’re 17. They are
in a pocket, bubble. They speak
in truth. Lies of art. Words of poetry.
Arguing in smiles of the date of their
anniversary.
We have arrived at the time where we
stand in reflection of mystery.
Journey. Path of life. Chosen actions.
We all walk toward death; no one I know
has sent a message back from where death
is.
The couple in the grass, fingers clasped, into each other.
They do not know death. Their world is full
of life, hope, and the other.
Count your blessings. Really.
Every moment can be full, of loving life.
Cracks in the Mind
Trust broken. Cognitively distorted. Where do
thoughts come from? Really. Electrical impulses
in the brain? Really. What are we saying?
Minds change words. Words change mind.
Time erases memory. Behavior influences everything.
Give me a break. What will it take to seal
the cracks in my place of vulnerability? My heart
is only so strong. My mom has never been
wrong. Her faith knew I would find recovery.
Even if it was a decade long.
This suffering I wear daily. Every minute. Every
second. Every hour. It amounts, it’s my power.
“I want to leave.” A moment of weakness.
House of cards. It could fall at any moment.
It has broken before. I started over.
A rose, a flower. Laid on my tombstone.
Finally living in silence. Finally.
Some rest.
Fatherhood
Grabbed at the waist and heaved into
the night. I was dreaming while I was living.
Barefoot walking on a path broken.
No destination. Hoping I was heading east.
I could hear the voice of thousands calling,
out in the night.
War visions in my mind projected onto
the world. Traitors in all directions. No
loyalty. Hidden secrecy. Double agents
everywhere.
Thank God the night was summer so that
this psychosis horror didn’t end in frostbite.
In Little Village I laid down by the pole
next to Burger King. I had met my defeat.
Thank God. Thank God a stranger helped me.
He gave his phone to me. I called my father.
Like father’s do. He found me.
My father saved me. Now. Always.
At my lowest lows.
One Day
I have breathe in my lungs. Passion in
my eyes. My brightness is not for everyone.
I am holding back. 30 years of being the
nail hammered down by culture, even friends.
Not allowed to be who I want.
The release will shake the world. A flash of
light over the horizon. Explosion. Brighter than
the world’s nuclear arsenal.
Release. Release me. I’m only 30 years old.
Tell me, what more is there to complete in
me? I want to realize the potential in me.
When will God pull the trigger? Because I know
He leads me. This whole time. He’s kept me safe.
I can’t speak to the suffering of others in their
own way. If I could be God for one day.
It would be to take away all the suffering.
For one day. Today. Not just the kingdom to come.